Nowhere Fast

Hosted ByZach Schuster, Kevin Bouchard-Hall, Mike Swart

The bike racing might be fake, but the podcast is real. Join hosts Kevin Bouchard-Hall, Mike Swart, and Zach Schuster for the virtual bike racing podcast you didn't know you needed that includes Zwift commentary, interviews, and coverage of real fake bike races.


All Episodes

Episode 26 – Zwift Race Tactics

While Zwift races aren’t exactly a Spring Classic or Tour stage, there can still be tactics involved for winning a race. Kevin and Mike share thoughts on power-ups, ZPower people, early attacks, and more.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide…

Episode 25 – KBH’s KOM Magnum Opus

KBH’s historic time on the Alpe du Zwift KOM turned into an entire thing last week. We cover his magnum opus of Zwift achievements from all angles. Also, Mike and Kevin share their experiences with the new Zwift drafting algorithm.  Nowhere Fast…

Episode 24 – A Glitch in the Zwift Matrix

KBH returned from an injury with superhuman strength that has him taking on the most coveted KOMs in Watopia, and WTRL racing is starting up again. Also, what’s new with Zwift, including more ways to cheat.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide…

Episode 23 – Autocorrecting the Autocat Algorithm

We try to fix the Zwift Autocat algorithm, even though we have no idea how it works, and we take a look at how some winter Zwift stars are faring IRL this summer.   Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this…

Episode 22 – A Meme Account for a Meme Podcast

Greg Abbott of the DC Area is the host of the Get Zwifty cycling meme account, which uses the show Rick and Morty to make light of the sport we love. We went inside the matrix to learn more about Abbott’s foray into memeing and talked a little Zwift…

Episode 21 – Summertime and the Zwifting is Easy

It might be the Zwift off-season, but Kevin is embarking on a new 30-day Quest for Fitness, and Zach is somewhat befuddled by his new power meter. We also cover the newest rage in indoor racing attire.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle…

Episode 20 – UGG! Postmortem with Matt Curbeau

We take a break from the real racing on fake bikes for real racing on real bikes at the Unbound Gravel Grinder with indoor racer Matt Curbeau. Can Zwift racing prepare you for 200 miles of gravel grinding? That’s an excellent question! You can follow…

Episode 19 – Zwift for Fundo with Jonathan Crain

Jonathan Crain trained for a May grand fondo ride/race by doing a lot of Zwift racing this winter. He shares how real racing on fake bikes prepared him for real racing on real bikes.  You can follow Jonathan on and find him on Instagram . …

Episode 18 – Tamper’s Karma Police

Karma came back to haunt KBH in his new rivalry against Tamper, and the Nowhere Fast crew talks Zwift physics. Also, a poetry reading that dramatizes what happens when a Zwift meets IRL riding.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium…