Nowhere Fast

Hosted ByZach Schuster, Kevin Bouchard-Hall, Mike Swart

The bike racing might be fake, but the podcast is real. Join hosts Kevin Bouchard-Hall, Mike Swart, and Zach Schuster for the virtual bike racing podcast you didn't know you needed that includes Zwift commentary, interviews, and coverage of real fake bike races.


All Episodes

Episode 60 – Zwift’s New Pimp My Ride

Remember when that guy used a bot to get the Tron bike for a race and it was the biggest cheating in the history of cheating? Ethics in gear acquisition is back in the news thanks to the new Zwift bike upgrades. Is it cheating to run Zwift with a…

Episode 59 – The Zwift Education of Michael van den Ham

American Mike and Canadian Michael hug it out after their chance encounter in the Zwift comments section. Michael shares his experiences racing on Zwift, helps speculate if the Coggan chart is dead, and gets some helpful pointers from Cycling Expert…

Episode 58 – Mike is the Watt King Now

You’ve heard our Watt King of the Week segment, but what if one of us … became the Watt King? Mike made a bunch of people mad with his patented coffee stop and then potentially started an international incident. Kevin tried a Peloton ride, to…

Episode 57 – Mason Rocca Returns

It’s the virtual bike racing / basketball crossover episode you didn’t know you needed. Former virtual racing National Champion Mason Rocca returns to talk about his switch from RGT to Zwift, racing the ERL on MyWoosh, and watching his sons ball out…

Episode 56 – The Stupidest Race on Zwift

Welcome to the Thunderdome of Zwift. Kevin and Mike dreamed about the stupidest race on Zwift and then made it a reality. Half the field got sent up a mountain, the other half got sent downhill to do 92 laps in the toilet bowl. And Kevin got the…

Episode 55 – Casey Schumm, The Best Not Good Racer on Zwift

Casey Schumm is “the best not good racer on Zwift” (said with 100% love). Schumm has mastered the art of Zwift to consistently stay competitive at the Cat B level. He stopped by the pod to share stories from the pretty good level of Zwift and discuss…

Episode 54 – The Average Joe’s 30 for 30

Can a very mid bike racer complete the famed 30 for 30 workout plan? Our very average host and editor shares his experiences surviving 30 straight days of Zwift races and hard Peloton rides. Mike also reports on concerning news about the future of the…

Episode 53 – The Cheating Detective, with Bjoern Ossenbrink

Bjoern Ossenbrink’s eyes *clap clap* are watching you, they see your every move. Well, kind of, but he does use data analytics to verify virtual racing performances at the high levels of the sport. He joins the pod to talk about the low-cadence craze,…

Episode 52 – We Are So Back, Again

We are back! For real this time. We promise. We catch up on what everyone has been up to in the last 13 months, including Mike’s Gong Show and Kevin’s CrossFit assault bike Zwift race. We talk a bit about MyWhoosh Worlds, and then of course,…